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Archive for February, 2009

I was just reading Meg’s blog, A Practical Wedding, and loved one of her most recent posts.

First, she shared a new perspective on the glass breaking in  a Jewish wedding, and that was that an old Moroccan saying was related to the broken glass of a Jewish wedding, in that “A difficult beginning is a good sign”.  It really is true in so many ways.  We are an instant gratification, disposable society sometimes.  We expect our life’s path to roll along smoothly, and often get derailed at the first sign of trouble. It really isn’t about the trouble at all, though, it’s about our perception of it, so if we start out with a little tzurres, perhaps that helps frame the perspective, and helps us appreciate the peaks that the road of life will certainly bring us to, while remembering that the valleys are not so long lived, and give meaning to the experience.

The other topic of her post was our current economic conditions, and its impact on today’s wedding experiences.

Meg – I have one additional perspective to share with you, in response to your sentiment of mild envy at last year’s crop of brides, who were planning well before the onset of layoffs, closures, and the like….Fast forward those brides to today.  They planned without worry, but they were the most unfortunate, because they also most likely incorporated a whole lot of expense and debt into their plans, and guess what they’re thinking today?  I’m sure many are wishing they still had the $10, 20, 30, 40k or MORE they spent on the wedding, because it sure would have helped them get through the difficult times, now, because they possibly lost their jobs or have just been hit financially.

Knowledge is power, and you have much more knowledge today than they did.  You have been given the gift of perspective, so today you can CHOOSE to be more economical, simple, realistic, and responsible.  And in the end, what you will most likely end up with (especially based on the sentiment of your readers) is a more personal experience, knowing that those who surround you on that day are there because YOU are one of the most important people in their lives.  If that’s not a gift, I don’t know what is.

Last year’s brides are not feeling like they got so much of a gift.  I hear many lamenting that they wish they had created a more intimate, personal setting, and not felt so compelled to pay $200 a plate for someone they barely knew.  They (and/or their families) are saddled with debt they really didn’t want nor could afford, and while the memory of the experience begins to fade, the credit card balances are mounting, as finance companies raise rates through the ceiling.  Not so much of a blessing, and certainly not much to envy.

One of the reasons I absolutely LOVE my destination weddings, is because I am always so touched at what every person experiences through them.  Certainly, the guests are the MOST important people in the world to them.  They made it a life priority to take that trip with them, and share in their joy.  They got FAR more than a 5 hour party, they got a life-long experience, of sharing the most relaxing time and special moments.  The final bill is far more palatable than that of a grand-wedding-experience, and provides so many more special memories to look back on.  This year more than ever, we are returning to simpler values, and that is the TRUE blessing of this economy.

I’m actually thankful for it, and while I wouldn’t wish a single hardship on anyone, I suppose that it was, is, and continues to be necessary to re-align our values, to re-think what is important, and to re-define what we consider to be our blessings.  Those brides that are planning their upcoming weddings in this downturn economy – rejoice!  You have the gift of knowledge, perspective, and POWER to choose to do what’s right for yourselves, your families, your friends, and the economy over all.

Life is not about broken glass, it’s about the meaning you give it.

B’Shalom,

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I am just catching up on life, since last weekend’s wedding, and it’s time to head out again tomorrow.

This weekend I am performing a wedding for Eden & Eduardo, an Interfaith couple in Puerto Rico.  I actually know very few details about the location I’m going to – so it’s kind of a mystery adventure to me right now.  I’m really excited, because Eden is an earthy-sugary sweet girl who just adores Ed, and he adores her.  As far as I know, where I’m going is a 2 hour ride from the airport, in a town called Isabella.  I’m really excited to see the area, and to get to know Eden and Ed’s families.

Stay tuned for updates – when I know where I am going!  🙂

Have a great weekend!

Deb

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Heck no.  Why should I be nervous?

Because tomorrow I am officiating the biggest wedding in my career?  For a family known throughout the world for RATING people?  Well, yeah, ok…I’m nervous.  I didn’t say I wasn’t confident, but when you know that people who write about what people do for a living are judging you, then I’d think you might be a bit nervous, too.

Regardless, this wedding is all about the couple, and the couple is definitely something to write home about.  Good looking, brilliant, ambitious, charismatic, benevolent, compassionate, and really-truly, down to earth and very very real.    I am incredibly honored to have the opportunity, and hope that their wedding ceremony is everything they could have ever hoped for.

In the meantime, I’m certainly excited to have my name appear with theirs, in the New York Times.  It was even more special to see it come out on Valentine’s Day. Stay tuned for details…

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The Psychology of Blogging

There is so much to know about this wondrous activity called blogging.

I remember the first time I heard about this thing called a blog.  Hmmm, a web-log, eh?

Kind of like a diary?  Yes.

Kind of like a journal?  Yes.

Kind of like a documentary?  Ok, that too.

“It’s so easy”, I was told.  Just go to (wordpress, blogger, blogspot, livejournal, typepad, etc.).com and start writing.  Everyone is doing it!  It sounded easy.  I began to look for other blogs, and see what other people were doing, and I kind of relished the thought of putting my experiences out there for people to read about me, and what I was doing.  Not only that, but it seemed like a great way of getting my name out in the community.

I guess I didn’t realize that it could also become my 2nd full time job, if I allowed it to.  I must admit, that the more I learn about blogging, and WordPress, and all the other “stuff”, the more inadequate I feel, and sometimes, I am just blank.  Some days, I think of hundreds of ideas to write about, and the next day, I am so overwhelmed, I can’t even bring myself to log on.  I’m really busy writing meaningful weddings, Bar Mitzvah ceremonies, and representing the Jewish faith, that I forget to write for days at a time.

Then, a blog reviewer comes along, sends me an email, and says…”Your blog would be excellent – if you could only be sure to blog every day.”  WHAT?  Every day?  Seriously, I’m trying.  I really am.  But I have realized that my blog productivity is absolutely tied to my mindset on any given day, and there really is so much psychology around the written word.

There are days when I am incubating some really ground-breaking ideas, as I have been since returning from NY.  And guess what has happened to my blog?  I realize it has been almost 11 days since I returned, and I haven’t published a single entry.  I also realize that I have withdrawn a bit from my social life, my family, and even my friends.  So, my blog is also a victim of my mental state on any given day.  I suppose that’s one of the maladies of being self-accountable – nobody to force me to produce, which some days, I admit, I really need.

Anyway – I’m wondering if I’m the only one who feels that their blog productivity is tied to the way they are feeling, or what is going on in their lives?  Does it just come naturally to want to put something out there every day?  Who knows if what I write is interesting?  Who cares?

I have 14 drafts sitting in my to-do list, and yet, here I sit writing about not writing.  It all gets so overwhelming, sometimes, and no matter what anyone says, it is NOT easy.  Once I write, how do I get people to read?  Am I writing about the right stuff?  Does it matter?  There are 207.601 bloggers on WordPress.com.  What will make someone read mine?  Some days, just seeing that number makes me feel insignificant, and when I feel insignificant, I tend to avoid that which makes me feel more-so. There are so many feelings tied to writing.  So many issues to consider, and so many connections to how I feel, on the inside.

Today, I feel bold.  Today, I feel happy to be alive, more so because 49 people lost their lives on a flight from Newark to Buffalo, and I remember that I must live every moment to its fullest.  I remember that I shouldn’t ever let a moment go to tell someone I love them, and just maybe, I shouldn’t miss a moment to blog.  I remember to move from guilty to forgiven, because I have the power to forgive myself, and move on.

So much psychology around blogging…

B’Shalom,

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The Big Apple

What fun I am having in the city!

I decided to extend my stay, and connect with some of my favorite people in NYC.  After leaving Jersey yesterday, Sharon drove me into the Village, where I met Jenni & Mike, my newest fave couple I am marrying in May in Mexico.  Jenni is the cutest, but after spending the day with both Jenni and Mike, it’s a race sometimes to decide who is actually cuter.  🙂  Mike is a doll.  A total guy, but, with a deep sensitivity and loving, warm disposition, that makes anybody fall in love with him.  It’s easy to see why Jenni did!  But Jenni is as precious as they come, so, they’re a great match for each other.  We went to a really cute restaurant in the village, The Cupping Room, and had an amazing lunch with a great bloody mary!  Then, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame exhibit was just down the street, and so we went there and had a great time, too.  Jenni and Mike have the cutest little place in the Village, and it was great to see them in their personal surroundings, and really get the time to connect with them on such a personal level.  I had so much fun!

I met a friend in the city, and we went to Little Italy for dinner.  Great food, great conversation – and back to the hotel to try to get a few hours of sleep before today began.

This morning, I left the hotel bright and early and decided to get myself moving around the city.  I took the subway down to Tribeca, and met Felix & Evelina at Mocca’s, on Church & Reade St.  I browsed Canal street for a few minutes, but got totally overwhelmed, and thought better of it.  You can’t do Canal Street alone, for sure.

Tonight is going to be the BEST!  I’m meeting the rest of the Aruba gang, Vlad & Tanya, and Max & Anna.  (Where did Shilana go in this mix??)  We’re meeting at Rockefeller Center, and it should be BIG fun!

Tomorrow morning, I am going to see my best friend in NY’s daughter who goes to FIT, before heading back to Newark.  Where did the time go?  Well, I suppose nothing this great lasts forever, and I’m just so happy to have had this time.  So – watch out tonight, NYC.  Here comes Aruba!!!

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